The short version
Your mate doesn't have to say any legal wording at all. In a Married by a Mate ceremony, I say the legally required words as your authorised celebrant, and each of you says your legal vows. Your mate runs everything around that.
The legal wording
The monitum (said by the celebrant):
"Marriage, according to law in Australia, is the union of 2 people to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life."
The legal vows (each of you says these, in front of the celebrant and two witnesses):
"I call upon the persons here present to witness that I, [your name], take you, [partner's name], to be my lawful wedded spouse."
You can use "husband", "wife" or "partner" in place of "spouse". You can add your own personal vows before or after — those are entirely up to you.
Where it fits in the ceremony
A typical friend-led running order:
- Your mate welcomes everyone and sets the tone
- Your mate tells your story
- Readings or a song
- I step in for the monitum
- Your personal vows (led by your mate)
- Your legal vows
- Ring exchange
- Your mate pronounces you married
- Signing the certificates with your two witnesses (I handle this)
Tips for your mate
- Practise out loud, at least twice, standing up.
- Keep the story to 5–7 minutes — warm and specific beats long.
- Print the script in a large font; don't read off a phone.
- Know where the legal moments are so the hand-over feels natural (Ceremony Studio marks these for you).